If time could stop,

If time could stop comma

Pain would freeze full stop

But time never stops dash

And nor does pain full stop full stop full stop

Advertisements

All Those Who Die Leave No Trace

Strips of light slowly stung her bare feet as she ran to say goodbye to her father as he left for work. That moment of every morning was so special for the 7-year-old Hope. Her father would always tuck her to bed and she would always wave goodbye the following morning. Her father simply assumed that it was mainly for the chocolate he got her every day after work, but deep down he wished it was pure love that made her so persistent. She ran across the driveway back to the house making all types of sounds such as aw, awtch, oh, mom. Her mother had already warned her and prepared her sneakers next to the door, but she, always pushed by the rush to get to him before he goes, would recklessly run and suffer the consequences of her choice. And she always got to him. And she never regretted it. The following day was March the first. Hope’s first day at her new school. They had to move her because the older school did not tolerate her continuous late arrival. They did not understand how important that morning moment was for her. The father, so patiently, looked for a school that agreed to her late arrival. Hope was excited that she was no longer going to be ridiculed or punished for simply carrying out a morning father-daughter ritual. Sarah and Mat had to wait 10 years until they gave birth to Hope. It was actually why they named her so. They believed she was their beacon of hope and chance for a happy life. Driven by their emotions, the couple could never reject any of the girl’s wishes or requests. Hope and Sarah relationship was strong too, but daddy was always the hero. On March 4th, Hope was ill. She slept so heavily and could hardly move a limb. Mat did not want to disturb her, so they let her sleep. He got into his car. Started the engine, which coughed a few times first, and then drove to work.

He never came home.

The next morning, Hope started feeling better. She got dressed and prepared herself for school. She got the pens. The pencil case. The notebooks. The books. Everything was set, but something felt missing. There was a big round clock hanging on the kitchen wall that read 7:10. Something pulled her to the driveway. She stood there for 5 minutes not knowing why. And started waving. Her mother shouted twice until she finally realized she had to go to school. And so she went to school. For the next few weeks, Hope woke up, rushed to the driveway, waved at nothing and was shouted at. A whole year passed and nothing changed. Same thing. Same result. “Why are you doing this to me, Hope! Stop it. I forbid you from being late to school ever again! Why? Why do you keep going to the driveway and miss the bus?” “I do not know, mommy. Something always pulls me to that spot”. On the 4th of March the following year, Hope got sick. She started hallucinating, “Mat. Dad. Driveway. Wave. Have to go”. The mother stood there haunted by fear incapable of moving and thinking. “What is happening to my daughter?” She kept crying as she paced her body from one room to another. Sarah kept her head close to Hope’s arm as she placed a goodnight kiss. Hope saw through her mother’s watch that it struck seven. She got up so sluggishly and moved her feet one foot at a time until she reached the driveway. The mother woke up to the sound of a crash. She went downstairs so fast. It appeared that a car drifted from the road and hit something but there was nothing there. She stood there for hours. She froze. Then she got inside. Her neighbors swore she kept standing every single day at 7:10 at her driveway and waved at nothing. People thought she was crazy. But something always pulled her out.

It was love. Love was stronger than post-death memory loss. All those who die leave no trace. They fade into thin air. Their existence goes into ash as their bodies disappear. But one thing would always overpower that memory loss of the living: True love. It would always linger – even without realizing what or who it was. On her 70th birthday, Sarah stood there at 7:10. Waved her last goodbye – and she too faded into thin air. Mat. Sarah. Hope. Were known and remembered never again. But their love remained untouched. Their love lingered across time and place.

 

المرايا: من سكان أمريكا الأصليين إلى الفلسطينيين

تواصل

استخدم الفلسطينيون المرايا في مسيرة العودة الكبرى لعكس شعاع الشمس في أعين القناصين الصهاينة. عندما رأينا ذلك، تذكرنا تكتيكاً مشابهاً استخدمه الأمريكيون الأصليون في منطقة ستاندينج روج في ٢٠١٦، عبر استخدام المرايا ضد القوات الاستعمارية الأمريكية. يمكن الإطلاع على المقال الأصلي حول الموضوع هنا. ترجمنا مزيداً من المعلومات حول الفنان الأمريكي الأصلي كانوبا هانكسا لوجر ومشروع درع المرايا

الفيديو من اعداد كانوبا هانسكا لوجير، تم نشره لأول مرة على موقعه
ترجمة نور البورنو، عطاف البورنو

مشروع درع المرايا تم تدشينه من أجل مخيم اوسيتي ساكوين قرب منطقة ساندينج روك في ولاية شمال ديكوتا الأمريكية عام ٢٠١٦. حيث أطلق الفنان كانوبا هانسكا لوجير فيديو تعليمي تم مشاركته على وسائل التواصل الاجتماعي يدعو الناس لعمل دروع من المرايا لحماية الأشخاص الذين يدافعون عن المياه. وقام أناس من جميع أنحاء أمريكا بعمل دورع مرايا وارسالها لمن يقومون بحماية مصادر المياه الخاصة بالسكان الأصليين في المواقع الخاصة بذلك في المخيم المقام في منطقة…

View original post 18 more words

Those Untrodden Ways Suddenly Became Crowded

Those untrodden ways suddenly became crowded
And the springs of Dove flooded that no creature lasted
And the nightingale that once sang is no longer heard
And all those figures are a bit too known.
We see not ourselves but mere reflections or shadows 
Or glimpses in the eyes of people around.
We hear not our heartbeats;
We feel them not as well,
But our chests bounce outward – inward.
We roam around a city of alive people
Us being the only ghost
Because too much has died already
Within every piece of our soul.
Water – water everywhere
And in our throats too
But such thirst is never washed away
With liquids of all sorts.
Inward – outward:
You live as a whole
But the holes inside remain the same
And your foundations will not last long
So when it all falls apart
Nothing will have been there
Because it is already gone.

Nour ElBorno
12/2/2018

Dear Diary

I usually write my diaries in secret. I hide them in secret. I put them in the most obvious places so that no one would doubt their confidentiality. Who would be interested in a notebook that looks so torn and is open for public? Nobody. Well, except for my nieces and nephews who always want some papers and pens. And always aiming for my things.

Of course I will not say everything I have in mind. However, 2017 has been a wonderful year. It is worth sharing or only worth writing about.

I graduated in January 2016 from Arts College at IUG. I took a semester break and then I joined the Master’s program and then I quit and then I joined Diploma in Education and then I finished that diploma and then I joined again the Master’s program – a different major from the first one.

Aside from all that, and all the ups and downs I went through. A major event happened just very recently that made the year worth living. I wore Niqab.

To a lot of people, such thing is not even listed in the book. Others think it is ‘too’ much. Family members found it unnecessary. No one truly understood why I wore it.

I always saw niqabis in the street and wondered, “What do they have and I don’t? What makes them so special to the extent that they got to wear niqab and I didn’t?”

Niqab is not a piece of cloth. It is anything but a piece of cloth. It is not to just ‘cover’ my face. To hide from the world.

To me, it is much more than that. A spiritual connection. A feeling.

The first time I wore it, three weeks ago, I felt that I was so free. I felt that I finally got one step further. I felt that I had so much within I wanted to feel concrete and I felt it. I felt it.

Yeah, in 2017 I did so many ‘awesome’ things. I worked at so many ‘awesome’ places. I went through so many adventures. I met a lot of people. But in November, I was born. The Nour I always wanted to become was born.

I do not think I could ever regret wearing the Niqab. For anything, it is because every time I go out,  I do not ‘carry’ the niqab with me or my face does not carry it. Quite the opposite, it carries me. It makes me feel happy and pleased.

I always wanted so many things. i usually got the things I wished for. I never felt this satisfied or happy.

The day my mom said yes I felt that it was a yes from Allah. He finally permitted my transformation.

To the world, it is a piece of cloth that covers the face. To me, it was a sign. A sign that there was still hope for me – with Allah. I will always be grateful for the sign. Alhamdulilah.

I believe, now more than ever. I believe.

Strangers

Dear Stranger,

It is difficult sometimes to talk to people we expect to meet the following day, so we tend to look for wells that cannot speak out or answer back. I do that every single time I post something on my blog. Now I have to be more careful I guess. 

Life was never meant to be easy. It was a punishment, after all. But it is a short journey we must not overthink, overhate, or overexpect from. It is a short ride. Treat it that way.

Sometimes, we see a certain light. We think it is a sign, so we run after it. We chase after it. On the way, we build a whole world, a whole expected future with very minute details. We imagine the colors, the shapes, we imagine ourselves in frames and pictures. Then, we realize that it was not our light. Should we feel sad? of course. But it passes, like everything else does. But we also keep going. We should always keep going.

Hating people takes too much energy. That’s why I always just love them instead. Hatred consumes because it is against our true nature. The very few people I do not like make my soul weary whenever I remember them, so I tend not to. You can always feel indifferent though. Feeling indifferent is much more relaxing – to the mind and soul.

Others helped him so it is absolutely fine. 

Our societies are not what stop us from getting what we want. No. Societies, people, events, incidents, fights, quarrels, money – are just reasons for us as humans, with limited ability to see the future, to move on; to stop asking, “Why!” We just answer, “The stupid society”. These factors are there to offer us closures when a particular dream is not truly ours to achieve or reach. The society is not a barrier. The society plays a role in preventing what had been already decided not to come true. Why? Because Allah knows better.

We, people, think we know. We, people, think that we are sure. What we want is what is kheir. It is the right. thing. The. good. thing. I am sorry to break this to you: It is not. If it does not come true, it is not a good thing. It is hard to believe this because it goes against our emotions and dreams and wants and desires. But it is true. Despite all that, it is true.

Sometimes I get scared. This is my secret. I get scared because I don’t know what is going to happen. I do not know how the future – how tomorrow is going to be. I feel scared every time I realize that no matter what I do I will never be able to see the different possibilities of my future. However, I go back to my senses every single time I remember that Allah is taking care of everything. Who would be more Merciful than the Ever Merciful? My Creator? The One Who knows me better than I know myself?

We change. Our minds change. Our ideas change. What we think is going to be better for us now might not be good for us in the future. That is why some things do not come true. Because if things happen they cannot unhappen. He saves us the trouble of feeling miserable in the future for the choices we once made.

He knows better. We have our closures. We keep on until it is all over. It will all be over. That’s what matters.

Find Me

Open your eyes and see the world around you

Take your breath back and enjoy the view,

The ride, the climb, the wind and see

There will always be a way for you to run,

For you to hide from it all.

Right beneath a poisoned tree

You will find hope in the roots

Because whenever there is pain

And wherever there is a scar

There will always be some hope

For you to heal.

Pain is just a symptom of life

And there will always be a cure

You might not find it right away

But the right thing will come your way.

Wait not for the sky to rain

Turn the tap on, instead.

It will be cold, it will be hot,

But you will be prepared.