أي مصالحة ؟

ولا زالوا يطالبون بالمصالحة, أي مصالحة ؟ أهذه مزحة؟ أم كذبة إبريل التي تصدر شهريا! كم من مصالحة قد قرروا تنفيذها؟ وكم من مصالحة شرعوا في تنفذها؟ أيمازحوننا ؟ أردنا المصالحة, أملنا بوجود المصالحة على أرض الواقع, لكن الان لا نحتاج الى المصالحة. فليغرب الجميع عن وجهنا وليفعل من شاء ما شاء, مصالحتكم وجودها مثل عدمها, ليس همكم الاكبر فلسطين, عودوا الى النوم,وعودوا الى سباتكم العميق. ما عاد البلد يحتاجكم وما عدنا نريدكم. نحلم بحرية تحققها في أيدينا, نحلم بيوم نستيقظ به على صوت الثلاجة المزعج, نحلم بيوم ننام لأننا نشعر بالنعاس وليس لأن الكهرباء مقطوعة, نحلم بيوم نستيقظ فيه على صوت المنبه وليس على صوت مدفع أو أم قد بح صوتها من الصراخ على فلذة كبدها. يا لأحلامنا الساذجة, يا لأحلامنا المستحيلة التحقق, أحقا نعتقد بأننا لو كنا يدا واحدة لتحررنا؟ ما هذا الكلام؟ من قال هذا؟ أحقا نصدق تلك الأقصوصة التي كانت تحدثنا اياها جدتنا ونحن صغار؟ تلك عن الرجل الذي أراد أن يعلم أولاده أن الاتحاد قوة, الرجل الذي أعطى ولده عود رفيع من الخشب كي يكسره, ثم أعطاه اثنين فثلاثة حتى أصبحت حزمة كبيرة ولم يستطع الولد كسرها, أتذكرونها هذه القصة؟ أتصدقونها؟ انها كقصة جنية الأسنان أو سندريلا, خيالية لا تمد للواقع بصلة. ماتت جدتي وماتت تلك القصة, ماتت جدتي وهي تأمل بالعودة, ماتت وهي تحلم ببيتها في يافا, ماتت على حسرتها لأنكم قد جعلتوها تصدق بأن هناك مصالحة, جعلتوها تزغرد يوم وقعتم تلك الاتفاقية في مكة, وأنتم نعم أنتم من جعلها تبكي في كل مرة قرأت الشريط الإخباري ووجدت بأنكم مازلتم في مرحلة ” الدعوة الى المصالحة” ولم تتصالحوا حتى اليوم. أليست فلسطين هي الجائزة ؟ أليست فلسطين هي السبب الذي جعلكم تكونون تلك الأحزاب التي أنتم جزء منها؟ أليست فلسطين هي التي أعطتكم الهوية؟ أليست فلسطين هي من جعلتكم من أنتم. أعطتكم بلدا ووطنا ومكانا لتنشئوا فيه مقراتكم, ونسيتم فلسطين وتذكرتم فقط ” أنتم”ط

By : Nour O. El Borno

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What is on my mind ?

It’s hard to previously decide what you want to write. It’s hard to start writing notes and thoughts. Writing is more than that even academic writing. When we write we express ourselves and thoughts. They shouldn’t be very eloquent or grammatically correct. If people don’t get what you feel through the words you first say and think of, then it is meaningless if they get you after explaining what you say. I am not going to change any mistake I made in this piece. I will leave it the way it is. I will not call it a first draft or a draft; I will call it ‘my feelings’ or ‘my thoughts.’ When you hold a pen and a paper, it’s not because you want to say something to the reader, it is because you have something to say or have an idea you want to let out or pain you want to reduce. Don’t let few rules written by people who care about the form more than the content stand between you and your own emotions and feelings . Let your writing be chaotic. It’s yours after all. What got that to what I want to say I don’t know. I just felt like writing and those words just came out. I couldn’t tell them to stay in and shush just because they don’t make sense. Who am I to judge? And say this makes sense but this doesn’t? what do I really know? Maybe what am saying is more important than what I think. I am tired, sleepy, exhausted-took me couple of seconds to remember how it is written, have a lot of things on my mind and so many emotions I can’t seem to define. Pressure is not a nice thing –right? – Especially when you are stressed- wait a second don’t pressure and stress mean the same thing? Not really I googled that to make sure they don’t there is a difference, dah.

Ideas stopped; I lost connection; I have no more things to say. I am going to post this on fb and on twitter and then get some sleep. That was everything on my mind starting from 1:35 and until 1:42 am. And after I have written that am thinking that maybe this is stream of consciousness that we learned about in our literature class. If this is it, then it’s fun and I may do this one or two more times. Slam.

By : Nour O. El Borno

Nameless

Take me out from the world am living
Let me hear new sounds of heaven
Let me be the one I hoped for
Let me not sit around and wait for nothing to happen
If you knew it’s the end
Why bothered and made me care?
If you were not ready to stick around
In the good times and bad
Why did you make me feel?

Luck, my luck
Without you something is missing
I know I am here for a reason
I know that reason is not because of you
I am living in a shadow of hopes
That one day will bring me down
I don’t care how many steps the ladder has
I don’t care how far it is
All I want is a place to stay in
And forget all the bad things I did
I want a new life
New everything

You were my last chance
Today I know nothing is worth living
But I will set myself free
And imprison myself
Somewhere far
So close to here
Where no one will hear my voice
But some may read my lips
And understand what they really say
May read what’s between the lines
And feel what my mouth couldn’t convey

By : Nour O. El Borno

FTMILH

Crying is the most important thing in life

Without it we can not survive

It lets all the pain out with a sigh

Takes everything we hide outside

It makes the heart beat slower

But fastens the feeling of grief

It makes us feel better

When everything else is bitter

It forces us to get out of bed

And bring napkins to kiss away the tears

Move when we feel paralyzed

With some coughing and sneezing

With some untaken breaths

With one step closer to death

We make it through the night

We survive

Thanks to the salty drops

We are still alive

By : Nour O. El Borno

There

We want nor the money
Nor the houses
Nor the deeds
We want the smell of our land’s grass
We want to feel the breeze
That moved our lawn
We want to feel the rain of our own towns
We want to hug our old neighbors
We want to return to our old hood
We want to be in our city
Where everything is different
The smell of winter, there,
Is different
The taste of water, there,
Is different
The sun ray, there,
Is different
My mother voice when calling my name, there,
Is different
Rainbow, there, appears everyday
Spring, there, lasts all year long
There, we were first born
In the wombs of our grandmothers
There, we were
And to there we will return
Because there is the only where
Where we will feel
Freedom

By : Nour O. El Borno

My People and I Are Me

What happened to me
I will never forget
Those whom have hurt me
I can never forgive
My people and I are both me
Those who breathe and those who died
Those whom you have wiped off
Those whom you have kicked out
Today we remember every drop of blood
They bled
Every drop they sweat
Today we bring back the stormy weather
For the wound is still unhealed
We remember them today
Yesterday and all other days
But today we sense their ghosts
Their presence
It doesn’t matter if I am a refugee or not
We are all one
You kill a brother
We seek revenge
You kick a father
We bring you down
We are the third generation
And in our blood it’s curved
On water it’s there
On every side of this country
It’s our legacy
It’s our future
It’s our everything
The Nakba was not theirs alone
It was theirs, ours and will be in the genes of our children
If you steal my cookie, I get mad
What about when it’s my land?
The sadness you have caused
The pain you have unleashed in the hearts
Of those who said no
Today we tell you all
We still remember
We are still fighting
And yes
We will return
Whether you like it
Or not

By : Nour O. El Borno

A hungerstrike

No standing in the way
Food and water are the same
We will not run away
Today we won fair-and-square
Prisoners not
Free they are
With their will
Won the fight
They are Palestinians
And won’t back down
You shall come to an end right now
See with faith
Miracles come to life
No more little lies
Took from us our lands back then
Today we have a new memory to celebrate
Back in 1948
You ripped our hearts off our chests
Today, we rip yours off
Not with a fight
But with a hungerstrike

By : Nour O. El Borno