In My Own Solitary Confinement. Day#1

Today, I didn’t have breakfast. I woke up at 6 in the morning, washed my face, brushed my teeth, got dressed, went back to my room and closed the door. I closed my windows. I sat on my bed cross-legged. I stayed like that for hours. I turned my cel off. I disconnected myself from the world. I wanted to feel like a prisoner. At 9 I felt bored. I couldn’t handle it. I thought “it’s okay to turn my cel on- I am sure they have something to entertain themselves with.” I texted my friend; she texted me back. We kept doing that for an hour. Then again I felt bored. I thought” it’s okay to check my facebook account. I am sure they have net connection in prison. This is the era of technology they must have net connection. How can we live without one?” I updated my status, visited my friends’ profiles, checked my inbox and read some cool stuff on my favorite pages. But again, I am bored. I put my cel aside and started thinking about my expectations for tomorrow, my friends, family and any other cool stuff. I checked my watch; it was 12. I waited for the Adaan so I could go and pray. It was not until 12:45, so I got up and thought of some Anasheed that have fast rhythm and danced. At 12:30 I thought of some Adeya and Athkar because I didn’t feel it was right to wait for Adaan dancing. I heard el Adaan, I thought” I am sure when it’s Adaan time they let them out so they can go and pray.” And so I did. I left my room, went to the bathroom, saw mom on the way and thought “I am sure the prisoners see their jailors and say hi to them.” So I saluted mom and kissed her. After that I went back to my room and prayed. It was around 1:15. I went back to setting on my bed. I wanted to re-check facebook but I thought “I am sure they have specific hours only, so I won’t open it now because I already used my time.” I wanted to just force time to pass a bit faster, but I couldn’t. It felt so slow- too slow. I kept wandering around, jumping, playing, dancing and so many other things. I pretended as if I were at a concert singing or delivering a speech in front of some people. I heard the Adaan. It was Aser time. I got out from my room- It felt perfect; I needed to see things other than my blue walls. I left, did the Wodo’ and went back to my room to pray. I didn’t want to go back; I didn’t want to not do anything. However, I had to go back and fulfill that agreement that I made with myself. I said” I will live the life of prisoners for 3 days. I have to.” When I got back to my room, I decided to take a nap- the best way to make time pass. I slept for an hour and woke up on the sound of Adaan. I went outside the room, went to the bathroom, did the Wodoo’, went back and prayed. I waited for our last prayer el Esha’. I waited for it impatiently. I just wanted to pray and go back to sleep because there was nothing else I could possibly do. And so I prayed el Esha’ and went back to sleep. And that was my first day in my own solitary confinement and my first day as a prisoner on hunger strike.

To be continued …


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