“It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go, but I am doing it.” – What Hurts The Most- #song
It’s one of those times you sit back and relax. You forget everything related to now and focus on what used to be. All the people you have ever met, all your friends and all of those that you sometimes cry that you have lost. And at some point, you cry when remembering yourself; the one you lost last. You want to go back, but you know it’s impossible. You want to go back, but you don’t have the courage to wish for such thing to come true because it might. You are afraid. Scared. Trembling that it was just mentioned. But you take that deep breath and start listing the what ifs. No use. There is no use at all.
It is sad that we reach a place where we have to wave goodbye to people we couldn’t breathe without, to people we said good morning to before the ones living under the same roof, to people we barely say hi to when we see them in the street by a destined meeting, a chance. There are those who you do your best to keep their memories alive in you. Even if you have to suffer the pain of losing them every time you kiss goodnight their memory, you still do it.
There are those who hurt us so deep, those who took the best thing in us and left, those who broke us to pieces and left us bleeding, those who left scars on our souls. Those are the same people we think of and cry for the other beautiful memories that they have engraved in a deserted place in our minds. We don’t want to think of the beautiful things because then our rage will be cooled. If the rage is cooled, we regret or at least feel sad or raise up a new what if.
We meet a lot of people during our breathing. Some we remember, others barely recognize. But there are those that you just can’t forget because they were part of the person you were. That person that lived a lot of your days, that suffered for you. And the scars, you now have healed, to that younger you, were freshly made. They are part of you and will always be. You will remorse, you will cry every now and then, you will remember and then you will keep moving. No matter how hard we try to stop time, no matter how hard we try to go back or rewind, it always, always keeps moving taking us and everything else with it.