The Child Inside of Me, I Need to Find You. I got to find you.

We all have that childhood favorite cartoon, movie or show. There is always that feeling that accompanies us while watching. It’s a mirror that helps us see the old us, not the old as in the future but the old as in who we once were. When we watch it, we bring a lost piece back to the puzzle, back to its place, back to us. We see how the actors were, so young, and how we are, old. It’s not a very beautiful mirror. Or maybe it’s us who are no longer that beautiful.
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It is interesting, though. We see that person, again. A person we thought we lost. Us. There is this particular movie that whenever we watch, we fall apart, we cry. It’s not because the ending was beautiful, painful or unexpected. No. Quite the opposite we know every single detail. We remember the catchy lines and sometimes we say few lines before the actors say them. We cry because we remember how we used to be. Children. Innocent. We did not have to worry much. We did not have to worry at all. Well, expect when we used to break our parents’ favorite vase or glass.
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When we used to be kids, crying was just our way of talking. We did not need any letters; we did not need any way of communication. We just used to cry. However, there was a part of us that longed for becoming older, for learning how to talk, and for learning the letters. But now, after years of learning (depending on how old you are), we cannot find the right words to express how we feel and crying is out of the question. We cannot cry. We are grownups.
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We think a lot. We think about the future a lot. We worry about the missing pieces that will be lost. About who we will be and how ugly the world will turn to be. We find ourselves stuck in yesterday most of the time and wandering in the future. We never have time for the present. The present is like the clock when it strikes exactly twelve. It’s not yesterday, it’s not tomorrow. It’s somewhere where things are just different and scary and unknown. We think, at that instant, about the time we wasted and time yet to be wasted.
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We all yearn to a moment when we just open our mouths and scream. Yes, scream. We all thought of that at some point. We all want to do what Superman once did_I don’t remember which part but I do remember that one of the Supermen did. His scream was so loud that the ice behind him broke_ We all want  to let the pain, anger, sorrow, fear or stress out! Can anyone deny that there was a time we opened our mouths to scream, but we had to silence ourselves? That’s not how grownups behave. I like being a grownup. I just envy the kids who spend the whole time shouting.
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It’s the remedy we all need. One long loud scream to let everything out. Because that one scream will definitely guarantee a good future. We won’t worry about yesterday because it’s gone with that air that we let out once we scream. We won’t fear tomorrow because when yesterday is gone, all we will need is to love today. And we will love today. Today will be what matters.
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All we have to do is to scream and let it all out. All of it. Until the very last of it. All of it in one scream.
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